Top Thirteen Types of Booze for Saint Patrick's Day Day
13 Jack Daniel's
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
12 Smirnoff
Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
11 Coors
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
10 Crown Royal
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
9 Fireball
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
8 Hendrick's
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7 Captain Morgan
Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
6 Patron
IMade a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
5 Tito's
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
4 Jameson
Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
3 Baileys
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
2 Guinness
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
1 Corona
Seriously though, Corona is super cheap right now. Might as well pick up a few cases.
Top Ten New Years Resolutions
Number Ten: Buy a house plant
A house plant is a perfect way to have a physical reminder of your laziness and ineptitude.
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Number Ten: Buy a house plant
A house plant is a perfect way to have a physical reminder of your laziness and ineptitude.
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Number Eight:Start drinking
Their are multiple liquor of the month clubs that will mail your favorite spirts right to your door. Remember you can't be sad if you're passed out.
Number Seven: Get a new haircut
A new haircut is a great way to say new year new you, and just like you a new haircuts changes are only skin deep and non-committal.
Number Six: Pay off your credit cards
Because clearly the 9 at the end of the year was the only thing keeping you from being a millionare.
Number Five: Be nicer to yourself
Someone has to, sure as shit isn't going to be anyone else
Number Four: Smoking
Everyone needs a hobby. Buy a pipe or a hookah and get to collecting. If your lucky the lung cancer will catch up to you before the credit card company does.
Number Three: Get more sleep
If you go to bed a decent hour you can maximixe your productivity at work while minimizing personal relaxation time.
Number Two: Diet
I suggest an all cheese diet, i have never met an sad mouse.
Number One: Gym
If my internet feed is anything to go by every single person on the planet got a Nindendo Switch for Christmas. From what i have seen most of you suck, hit the gym level up your Pokemon.